She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
