I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
