do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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