I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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