she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
