This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
