let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
