Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
