thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
