Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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