Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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