I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
