if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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