just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
