is your mom at the bar?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
