So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
