Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
bring money and cleavage
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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