They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No subtext here. People are naked.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
