doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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