i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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