you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This house was built for laser tag.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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