I got chris browned last night
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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