The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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