he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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