He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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