I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
