The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
