Operation Purity has been aborted
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
