If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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