best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
