Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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