So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
