Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
