i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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