Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
