I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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