You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
