you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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