i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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