Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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