i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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