He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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