Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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