Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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