I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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