I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
