i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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