So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
