Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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