We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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