Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
