and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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