her vagine was all disorganized.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
