Whod you bang
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize
