We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
