I wish I could punch you in the face.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
