I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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