Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
