i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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