Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
