On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
