were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
